The Ocean, My Friend

I hid in the back side of the porch.
Trial and error.
Song pieced itself together faster than I remember any other song doing,
but nonetheless it was a brutal write.
Find the fitting melodies.
Don't get too repetitive.
Let your emotion flow out from each note.
Write a song for her because she deserves it.
She deserves to have something beautiful.
Something made in an attempt to thank her for being her in all of her beauty; inside, outside.


It's as if my subconscious wrote the lyrics.
Did the Ruach tell me what to write?
Yahuah has been strongly present in this entire process of getting closer to this ishah. Reading what I wrote after, I searched.
What was written was more intense than I anticipated and yet I felt fully comfortable with its delivery. 
Even now, that song...it's a mystery to me.
It grew on its own.
People may not get it, but I do not write these songs all of my own talent.
I have pieces of information, emotions, experiences. 
Yahuah gives me some of his creativity. I know its feeling well.
Always beautiful to work with, but not my own.
I cannot be so proud of something that wasn't born fully of myself.
For this, I am thankful and blessed.
He knows many things that I don't.
And He knew this needed to be written for her.
For my love, my other half, my best friend.


I thought that I found you.
But, I didn't find you.
He introduced us.

I look across the glistening water to find
That you're so far away now  


I still believe that  
One day we will make our way back 
It's hard to perceive  
That my life could go on without..  


Your eyes wander into my gaze 
You caught me smilin' 
At the thought of you lookin' up at my way  
I still believe one day we will make our way back 
It's hard to perceive that my life could go on without  
You 
Are the ocean to my thirsting wonder 
You 
Are the windows to my blindness 
You are innocence, 
Captured intelligence, 
A beauty, 
A best friend, 
A blessing 


But here we must give our parting words 
The visit's over 
But know I'll keep your picture here 
Inside of my mind's eye 
My mind's eye 
My mind



The more I read these lyrics, the more I learn that this didn't come from me.
My blindness, I tried to explain what that was.
Out of pride, ugly pride, my enemy...I was wrong.
She gave me windows into loving and learning how not to judge even better.
Without words, she was used to teach me.
How she has blessed my life already. 
Lola, a gift I don't deserve.
A friend I didn't know I needed.
She filled a hole that I thought would never, could never, be restored.
A constant wonder like the size of mountains, like the depths of shamayim, like the intricacies of my own flesh...this wonder consumes me.
A love I've never known before.


Todah Yahuah for her. Todah