Come Wednesday, I should be in Indiana spending time with my favorite person on the earth.
I tire of these digital words.
They do not fully express my fluttering anticipation.
Nearly there.......
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
A Week Away
You make me wonder what I look like from the outside of myself.
Because from the inside I seem usual.
Sometimes you seem so perfect.
Maybe this is because I don't see you so often.
The image in my head of who you are just seems flawless.
When I fail and sin, I wonder if I am good enough.
I don't imagine you having the thoughts that I do.
Maybe that's bad because I don't see you as human as I see myself.
I'm looking forward to the next door I will open to see you.
Throughout life, we are going through doorways and I can't wait until that doorway comes where I can see you on the other side.
I don't like not remembering how it feels to have had you in my day
Like in-the-flesh have you in my day.
It's different from the 2-D version for sure.
I mean, what I have left is the remembrance of this awesome-feeling essence that would linger on me after having seen you earlier in my day.
With the time we spend now, I do not feel much of that essence at all.
It only makes me miss you more.
As I've mentioned before, life is made dull in your absence.
I anticipate our reunion..but knowing that it is a ways away,
I go through the motions of life awaiting the height of existence that comes from being in your presence.
In the meantime, everything is... bearable and just... okay.
I miss you.
Still, I am not used to this foreign and digital Lola.
Doesn't feel like the real you.
For now, this is all I got.
I've been thinking a lot about what others think I should be doing with my life.
I've heard many thoughts and sincerely consider them, but in the end I find myself wanting to go where my instincts are leading me.
I feel like this process has only brought me unnecessary worry, but maybe it's necessary.
I look forward to living my life.
I smile when I think about it.
I don't see it without you.
More and more, I am ready to let go of former ties.
Harsh as it may sound, there are some who just do not seem to be a positive influence in my life.
I still love these people, but I want to let them go.
You fill such a space in my mind, in my heart, people get pushed out of the way.
Sure, many will tell me it shouldn't be so, but I want it to be so.
I will have friends and those I share my thoughts with, but I just won't need so many so close.
I am sure this makes me sound cold, but trust this doesn't mean I will ignore old friends.
With all the friends I now have, I can count on one hand the people I can speak openly with.
I share many laughter-filled moments with acquaintances and friends alike, but a very few I share my deepest thoughts.
The preciousness of your friendship, your bond of love, I would trade for many of these shallow ties.
These are not traded and discarded. These are traded in rank of priority.
I am avoiding hurtful words, but simply put, I like to think that I am a simple man.
I don't need a bunch of social stimulation.
The confiding in just one who gets me is a world of love.
More than the world I know has given; it's you.
Because from the inside I seem usual.
Sometimes you seem so perfect.
Maybe this is because I don't see you so often.
The image in my head of who you are just seems flawless.
When I fail and sin, I wonder if I am good enough.
I don't imagine you having the thoughts that I do.
Maybe that's bad because I don't see you as human as I see myself.
I'm looking forward to the next door I will open to see you.
Throughout life, we are going through doorways and I can't wait until that doorway comes where I can see you on the other side.
I don't like not remembering how it feels to have had you in my day
Like in-the-flesh have you in my day.
It's different from the 2-D version for sure.
I mean, what I have left is the remembrance of this awesome-feeling essence that would linger on me after having seen you earlier in my day.
With the time we spend now, I do not feel much of that essence at all.
It only makes me miss you more.
As I've mentioned before, life is made dull in your absence.
I anticipate our reunion..but knowing that it is a ways away,
I go through the motions of life awaiting the height of existence that comes from being in your presence.
In the meantime, everything is... bearable and just... okay.
I miss you.
Still, I am not used to this foreign and digital Lola.
Doesn't feel like the real you.
For now, this is all I got.
I've been thinking a lot about what others think I should be doing with my life.
I've heard many thoughts and sincerely consider them, but in the end I find myself wanting to go where my instincts are leading me.
I feel like this process has only brought me unnecessary worry, but maybe it's necessary.
I look forward to living my life.
I smile when I think about it.
I don't see it without you.
More and more, I am ready to let go of former ties.
Harsh as it may sound, there are some who just do not seem to be a positive influence in my life.
I still love these people, but I want to let them go.
You fill such a space in my mind, in my heart, people get pushed out of the way.
Sure, many will tell me it shouldn't be so, but I want it to be so.
I will have friends and those I share my thoughts with, but I just won't need so many so close.
I am sure this makes me sound cold, but trust this doesn't mean I will ignore old friends.
With all the friends I now have, I can count on one hand the people I can speak openly with.
I share many laughter-filled moments with acquaintances and friends alike, but a very few I share my deepest thoughts.
The preciousness of your friendship, your bond of love, I would trade for many of these shallow ties.
These are not traded and discarded. These are traded in rank of priority.
I am avoiding hurtful words, but simply put, I like to think that I am a simple man.
I don't need a bunch of social stimulation.
The confiding in just one who gets me is a world of love.
More than the world I know has given; it's you.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
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