Indiana! Weddings! Hugs!

I finally made it out to the love of my life! The Indiana trip was a success. Flying on Standby doesn't always work in one's favor. My 12.30a flight was full so I slept over at the airport in wait for my 5.30a flight. Good times finding the best place to sleep in an airport. So worth the ordeal!

I got to visit some long lost family. James, Lola, and I after enjoying an awesome breakfast!

It was really early this morning that we sealed the deal to have our wedding ceremony in 2012! Jolly and Cheryl were so supportive and open with our ideas and gave us a lot of helpful advice. I love and miss them dearly, but look forward to spending more time with them in the future.

Lola and I did plenty of hanging out! There were so many restaurants with really confusing names of people. Like Carson's, Jackson's, Jane's, Bob's, Henckel's, stuff like that. This one place made an uber tasty Butterfinger milkshake though! Getting so used to being with my love was quite the bittersweet experience only because I knew we had to part ways soon after, but only for a while longer. One day, we will actually live in the same time zone! 

Daily, I look forward to that magnificent day!

I met so many people! Lola and I were invited to her friend's wedding so here she is with her husband and Uncle. We learned a lot setting up and cleaning up for the wedding.   

Isn't Lola beautiful?! Cheesing it up with the newly-wed!

Was quite a nice reception. I arrived after all the ceremonial stuff was done due to it starting towards the end of Shabbat. Getting lost because of the GPS totally did not help, but as it is said, I was fashionably late and still had enough time left over to take pictures!

Lovely Lola and I with my younger, yet taller, brother James. We made our own handshake and spent Shabbat (the day before) hanging out and catching up on all the years passed.

After all the wedding madness, Lola and I spent some more quality time together and sorted out our own marital awesomeness. So many details we cannot yet disclose but know that we are two people deeply in love with each other. I have no pictures of the time spent with her family, but I had a blast meeting the people who will be the newest addition of loved ones to my life. I love them already and look forward to hanging out with them and getting to know them further. I am sooooooo grateful for Lola and the bright and warm light she has added to my life. No one has a place in my heart like you do and I can't wait to spend forever with you! 

All praises to my Father who brought us together and made it possible for someone to have such a love for me as she does. 

Looking forward to our next reunion, honeylove!

Yours, Har :-*

Scripture Reading With Le Wifey

Nothing like reading the Word with your love!

Daniel, married to his wife for 3 years and who I met on my flight coming back to L.A., said that as long as the Creator is a part of our relationship, we can never fail.

Truly, I am speechlessly made grateful for having such an other half in my life.

One who loves Yahuah AND me?!

Best believe I'm holding onto her forever and ever!

Can't wait to pray together in person as it should be.

Todah Yah for your love and teaching us how to apply it in our lives.

I love love love you, LOLA !!!!

So Much Has Happened!

And yet, so little time.

Okay..really REALLY important. 

About 11:20pm October 30th was That Moment.

5th day of the 8th Moon! 2 days shy of the 4th Moon's Anniversary! 

W00t for Most Important Covenant # 2!

Rest of the Indiana trip's awesomeness COMING SOON!

If All Goes Well..

Come Wednesday, I should be in Indiana spending time with my favorite person on the earth.


 I tire of these digital words.


They do not fully express my fluttering anticipation.


Nearly there.......

A Week Away

You make me wonder what I look like from the outside of myself.
Because from the inside I seem usual.
Sometimes you seem so perfect.
Maybe this is because I don't see you so often.
The image in my head of who you are just seems flawless.
When I fail and sin, I wonder if I am good enough.
I don't imagine you having the thoughts that I do.
Maybe that's bad because I don't see you as human as I see myself.


I'm looking forward to the next door I will open to see you.
Throughout life, we are going through doorways and I can't wait until that doorway comes where I can see you on the other side.


I don't like not remembering how it feels to have had you in my day
Like in-the-flesh have you in my day.
It's different from the 2-D version for sure.
I mean, what I have left is the remembrance of this awesome-feeling essence that would linger on me after having seen you earlier in my day.
With the time we spend now, I do not feel much of that essence at all.
It only makes me miss you more.


As I've mentioned before, life is made dull in your absence.
I anticipate our reunion..but knowing that it is a ways away,
I go through the motions of life awaiting the height of existence that comes from being in your presence.
In the meantime, everything is... bearable and just... okay. 
I miss you.
Still, I am not used to this foreign and digital Lola. 
Doesn't feel like the real you.
For now, this is all I got.


I've been thinking a lot about what others think I should be doing with my life.
I've heard many thoughts and sincerely consider them, but in the end I find myself wanting to go where my instincts are leading me.
I feel like this process has only brought me unnecessary worry, but maybe it's necessary.


I look forward to living my life.
I smile when I think about it.
I don't see it without you.


More and more, I am ready to let go of former ties.
Harsh as it may sound, there are some who just do not seem to be a positive influence in my life.
I still love these people, but I want to let them go.
You fill such a space in my mind, in my heart, people get pushed out of the way.
Sure, many will tell me it shouldn't be so, but I want it to be so.
I will have friends and those I share my thoughts with, but I just won't need so many so close.


I am sure this makes me sound cold, but trust this doesn't mean I will ignore old friends.
With all the friends I now have, I can count on one hand the people I can speak openly with.
I share many laughter-filled moments with acquaintances and friends alike, but a very few I share my deepest thoughts.


The preciousness of your friendship, your bond of love, I would trade for many of these shallow ties.
These are not traded and discarded. These are traded in rank of priority.


I am avoiding hurtful words, but simply put, I like to think that I am a simple man.
I don't need a bunch of social stimulation.
The confiding in just one who gets me is a world of love.
More than the world I know has given; it's you.

She

..is who I love.

How could I not? <3

Well...

I can't tread water.
Much less escape from being stuck in a well

Wondrous, I Know You

Nothing like living without air for so long 

that you begin to get used to it. 

Your heart rate slows and you ration your movements.

Your senses gain new dimension 

as they are strained to run on little fuel.

Too many waste away their breaths.

Their air is there and plentiful, 

so they join frivolous activity.

No thought as to choosing how to move, 

simply rushing and clumsily pushing through their moments.

Useless actions only to come back again full circle 

to where they are started.

Nothing is learned, 

and as if they forgot so quickly the burns on their body, jump full into high flame.

But me, 

I am deprived.

And from the deprivation, 

appreciation.

And from the appreciation, 

like the sweetest honey, 

joy.

Moments concentrated with a synchronicity 

and bond 

thick.

To have had breath all the while, 

one cannot fathom the truly precious value 

of the single unit of time: the moment.

Each pounding of this beating vessel, 

a knocking on my door.

Outside awaits something 

both wondrous and unknown.

Closer and closer to days of fuller breathing.

For now, I breathe slowly.

To Taste the Unending

Still I've got a ways away to travel.
Dust at my feet as I step and step.
Numb and dull is my grip on reality as I am fixated on the horizon.
The sun is high and beating.
My eyes whisper "oasis" as I watch my path boil and shimmer.
Illusions.
Though I do ache, with nothingness behind me I can only progress.
Keep moving forward.
I can see what kind of heart I will need to reach the goal.
Panic and fright?
I have no time for you.
My shortest path is the hardest, but I must take it.
I must!
All the sooner I will see my love, and see her, and see her.
I lay down my life for you.
A descendent of dust, I am worth nothing more than what I've been given.
A breath of life passed from the first to walk this earth.
Given by the Giver, my breath I vow to our unity.
Other half, may we honor Him together for that which we have both been gifted with.

Pray For Us

Words have strength.

I simply must succumb to such a truth.

I don't wish to use them all the time, though.

Often, they are inadequate.

Here, I want to express my abstract emotion, and once again am limited by language and this stagnant transmission.

(I just remembered to remind her about GRE's!)

I'd love a world to retreat to, with you.

We'd come back to this world as if time stood still, waiting on us.

Non-fiction: 

Today, we talked tough.

Plans.

Maps.

United at a time, the same.

All, of course, if Yahuah allows..

But then to abstain until time to create.

Pray for us.

2-D Love

Others have it worse, but it's tough not to ache for her.


Virtual methods of communication fail in comparison to the human kind.
They're beginning to frustrate.
As if continually teased with the inferior, the untruth, my instincts rebel.
"It cannot be my love. I cannot see her eyes. There is no texture to her skin. Her voice is not all her own."


I guess there are worse things.
Yah-willing, this is all temporary anyway.


What a reunion we'll soon enjoy!






Lovesick, I wait.

Ohio Is For Lovers

After all the hoops and hurdles of the flying business, I arrive in Ooooooooohio. 


People live everywhere, and our number continually astounds me. With so many years having passed in the length of our human history, it only makes the more sense that we are great in number and variety.


The airport is cool (temperature-wise) and it feels great to be traveling alone. I make my way down halls. Walking down escalators. There seems to be some kind of subway system within the airport. Ehh..I trust my feet over this novel sight as I am puzzled as to where I'd end up.
Longest hallway EVARRR (exaggeration) 
I see her before she sees me.
My face already beams.


Like one of those movie greetings at the airport between loves, we squeeze...we kiss!
Butterfliorama to see her once again.
After some moments of gaze, I look over her shoulder to notice an old man in a wheelchair staring with such a puzzled look on his face. 
We laugh.
We leave.


A blast of hot, humid air hits me as we leave the airport's air-conditioned establishment. The beginning of all the little things that I miss as I reminisce. 
The air had a different smell.
I can even imagine it now. 
As if I could smell the sweat of the trees.
Pleasant.
A green green scene, speechless moments find me as I realize over and over again that I am reunited with the love that has ruined me for any other.
Gladly, i am ruined.


We are endowed with nearly 24 hours together. 
More than we anticipated, it is spent lovingly.
We explore home.
Then, VBS. My love in an apron was just adorable, believe me. Some quality time with Mama Gail.
Ice cream.
Home, fam games. Scattergories!
Next, casual talk around the table.
Hot seat much?  
Well, it wasn't that bad...a lovely situation  actually.
Getting late.
Shower and changing.
Teeth brushing.
Here, I imagine this is what it'd feel like to live with her.
Sharing the washroom, blowing kisses in mirrors, laughing as we ready to sleep.
Basement.
Pool.
Why or how we got there?
Nope, it left.
Kisses.
Sleepytime.
Here, we speak deep of our forever...and agree.
Daybreak.
Patio breakfast.
Cicada.
Lakewalk. Love. Sweat. Sweat. Laughs. Pics. Sweat. Love. Love. Love. Love.
Scripture in our walk.
Ready for departure.
But first,
Chipotle.
Sadder.


My home, my heart I leave in Cincinnati, Ohio.

The Present: Parentals

Irony! The unimaginable becoming reality.
Papa draws suspense as a hanging answer lingers in the air.
With time on our side, will the slate of steel will soften?

Texas: A New Frontier

She has arrived.
The tell-tale test of our time together...trippy.


What events lie ahead?


With time, all will be revealed.
With faith and trust in the Most High, our lives will never steer off-course.
Yahuah, You are the living water keeping us alive. Todah!

Flashback: The Garden

Bare feet.
Slow steps.
We wander the garden of a concrete land.
Kisses.
We squeeze each other close.
Often enough, blurring our vision to fall into the other's eyes;
Our common practice.


Loving our day away in the garden.


I envied Adam and Chuwah having all the time they wanted..walking around enjoying each other's company without the pressures and limits of time and place that we did.


Waiting for something that will last forever...




My partner in time..


We speak of eternity.
We speak of our favorable colors.
We speak of where we most enjoy our time.
We speak without words.
We speak with our kiss.
We speak with sighs.
We speak and speak and speak.


May I never cease to love her.
May I be all that she desires of me.
May I be hers.


We did our best to capture those beautiful moments, but no lens can give me what her beating heart does.
How I long for my living, breathing, love.

The Never-Ending Tiny Wonders

I am reading through Mishle/Proverbs, as you know.
For fun I wish to capture a moment that I received not 5 minutes ago.


I believe I first heard this quoted at Ian and Kim's wedding, but knew not where it was from.


Mishle 18:22
He who has found a wife has found good, and receives favour from Yahuah.


Within that moment of JUST finishing this verse as I read inwardly, I am being called by my pops.
I go to him and catch a package sent from her.
My eyes are drawn to the bottom right corner where a message reads "I love you".
Todah Yahuah, for your favour.


Lola, I love you too.

Toronto, Or Not Toronto

Pack light.
I can never sleep well the day before something big:
Nights before the first day of school..
Days before a Disneyland trip..
Sleep didn't come easy before my trip to Toronto.


Updates came. Updates left.
You'll be stopping in Ohio, no Georgia, no Michigan.
Nerves.


The final word: 
Cincinnati it is.
W00t!
I would arrive something like 8am and leave sometime like 4pm.


We make it through the day.
Excitement bubbling up through our conversations.
The sun and moon so distant from each other, will now finally meet.
Night falls. My flight leaves late.


Do I stay up?
Do I sleep a few hours?


Nerves.
I stay up. Anime episodes.
Darkness seeps into the already dark night.
Sleep overcomes me..


I wake to be hurried out the door.
Bag grabbed.
Freeway.
Traffic! Ugh!
Pops drops me off. 


Frantic. 
findwheretogo wheretogo wheretogo WHAAAAT? I hafta get in a line cuz the machine won't read my passport??


30 min from departure dwindle to one as I JUST reach the attendant.


Defeated.
I try to call my pops.
He left his celly at home.
I call Ma.
Pissed, she says she'll let him know soon as he gets home.


Waiting.
Felt nothing but genuine sadness as I wait in the cold.
A handful of others stand in the the departure drop-off. Did they feel just as defeated?
Were they just as sad they missed their flight, that streak-of-chance event bringing them closer to the one they love?


That darker than night evening did nothing but stand out in my mind.


I tell her the news.




I don't know why this happened.


I know why.
I'll call you when I get home.




Guilt.
Shame.
I give Him my thanks for His discipline.
Even when things seem bleak, Scripture reads to give thanks during all times, even the lame ones.


It didn't keep me from feeling horrible.


Our first conversation with so much revealed since the one in the car..back in those days that seem so long ago.


Confession.
We matured here.
She loves me still?
I love her even more.




Daytime.
I'm to leave in the afternoon for Toronto.
Stopping in Idontcare, Sumstateotherthanohio USA.
I wake, seeing nearly no point.
Eyes rolled in my waking moments.
I don't even remember this day.


Except...my aunt telling my mom she may have a flight for me.
One stopping in Cincinnati?
Nope.
Nah. Those don't sound good.


Hours later..






Hey...


Sooooooo I'll be arriving in Cincinnati in the afternoon.




And leaving the next afternoon.  
Think you can pick me up from the airport? :]

Bells

Bare feet.
Cream.
Simple.
Jolly.
Outside.
Elegant.
Beach?
Next year.
L.A.
Fall.
Jumping pictures.
Five each.
Lace?
Breezy.
Black.
Love.

Time Zones

This post is about right now.
Three hours further into time is she.
Lovesick?


Days are coming when I will see her less.
When I will hear her less.


What will it be like when I see her all the time?
Maybe I will write less.
I'd have less time in front of a computer and more time in her embrace.


Don't want to wake you, but I miss you. 
Want to laugh with you.


What is this novel feeling?
To think I couldn't be more consumed and yet my reality baffles me further.
If absence makes the heart grow fonder, what will become of me after a year's time?


I heard once that to know whom it is you truly love, is to know someone that inspires you.
Without a doubt, she inspires me.
She inspires me to push myself to the outer breaches of my potential. 


I haven't had a best friend...truly a best friend in so long.
For a story written about a boy so lonesome at his journey's inception, it could only be of the perfect art of Yahuah's storytelling to have a character evolve so much. Humanity's concept of perfection only emulates all that He has already done.
We fail.
But to be a part of this story, and to be in touch with the writer?
What a life to live!
Even within this short time...so much He has done.
I wonder at what He has in store for us. What wonders will present themselves as we journey our lives together.


I miss you terribly and am trying to enjoy this burden of loving you from afar, but I know and am excited that we will linger in one another's life to reach a time where we are so much closer.


Until the end of time, even?


I hope so.


I began this letter with lamenting.
Now I've found comfort in venting.


What's wrong with being honest?
To be open?


To be genuine and accepted is what I've dreamt to become.
My dream is a reality and I have had no greater earthly love:

.